And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
