he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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