There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
