I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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