He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
