That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I want is dick and wine.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
