I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dear god my vagina.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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