you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
