okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
