She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
