Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
