So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
