This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize