dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
