Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
