You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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