I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
