And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
