Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
