Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
