Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
