Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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