if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
