Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
