just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
