Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
