Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
