like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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