You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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