some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
