One girl and one boy is just not enough.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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