Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
