operation have a gay friend backfired
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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