i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
