i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize