some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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