It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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