i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
