So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just invented taco cereal.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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