I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The adults are the big ones right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize