and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
