There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
