just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
