I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
