we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
