What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
