Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
