like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
