i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
