I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
