you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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