just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
