he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
