drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
