Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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