I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
