Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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