I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
