K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
