So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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