I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
