Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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